Top 5: Things I'm Looking Forward to Next Season as a Direct Result of Giants/Cowboys

By: Anthony D'Amato

Earlier this afternoon I strolled into a barbershop feeling a bit melancholy, as some random scissor-wielding charlatan was about to undo almost a half-year's work, which I had so adamantly defended as it grew untamed atop my dome. I climbed into the chair, which conveniently rested in front of a mirror so that I wouldn't miss a single moment of the carnage. Sullen, downtrodden, and defeated, I was lulled into my standard haircut trance by the buzzes and the snips of the razors and the scissors. I was yanked from my daydreams when the bell above the door warned of an approaching customer. As the man sat down in the chair beside me, he remarked sarcastically, "I feel really bad for T.O., man. He was all shaken up - did you see that? 'Don't blame it on Tony. That's mah boy, That's mah quarterback.'" Seeing as I reside in northern New Jersey, I wasn't surprised to hear the man proudly bash Owens, who (as a college buddy of mine puts it) is "gettin his popcorn ready for the Giants - Packers game next week," or to hear him completely butcher the impression. I was only about halfway done with the haircut (5 months without getting one, people!) so as the men discussed the game I reflected on what I'll look forward to most next season, regarding the division rivals...


5) No More Jessica Simpson B*llsh!t
Simply put, there is no story here. There is absolutely no connection between on the field performance of Romo and Simpson's seat in the stands. Let me say it again, in case I didn't make my point, JESSICA SIMPSON'S ATTENDANCE DOES NOT HAVE ANY EFFECT ON THE OUTCOME OF A GAME. So what if a friend/girlfriend/wife comes to support her counterpart? Do you think Eva Longoria's presence had anything to do with her beau's championship run? I think every second that is wasted "debating" this "issue" is insulting to Romo, his teammates, and his coaches (you know, those who actually affect the scoreboard). If the Saints were in the playoffs and the Cowboys were out, wouldn't the focus be on Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian instead?

4) The Realization that Wade Phillips is not a Great Coach
This man rode a team that Bill Parcells constructed all season long to a great record and a #1 seed in the playoffs. Seriously, all he had to do was announce who was playing and let his coordinators handle the rest. It's not rocket science that Jason Garrett is about to cash in on this season's (and recent ones') success. Love him or hate him, Parcells was the reason this team was good. He built the team. He taught the team. He instilled hunger, discipline, and camaraderie. Parcells gets all the negative publicity because he was a "harsh" or abrasive coach, but he grounded Owens and humbled Romo and made the Cowboys a team. Don't think for a minute Romo would have played his heart out this season if it wasn't for the Tuna. Congratulations, Bill, since I know you aren't hearing it from anyone else right now. (Double congrats, since Wade doesn't get to hoist your Lombardi trophy.)

3) Eli Mania!
An 8-1 road schedule (although 7 of them were against softies), strong efforts against two juggernauts (Pats + Cowboys), and beating Peyton to a playoff win (it took Eli 4 seasons compared to Peyton's 5) coupled with a Colts loss have the youngest Manning in the spotlight. I've been an Eli-basher for the last few - well, ever since he became a Giant, but I'm actually looking forward to seeing him play next week and next season. Who knows, maybe he'll even get a commercial or two!

2) " T.O. Tissues "
You can say Philly has the best player-haters, but don't let anybody from New York hear you. With his popcorn comment, Owens placed himself directly in the crosshairs of all of the Big Blue Wrecking Crew faithful. Always creative when it comes to taunting, I can't wait to see what Giants fans come up with when he visits East Rutherford next season. After shedding tears during the post-game press conference, I suggest handing out free towel/handkerchiefs with a picture of Owens for Giants fans to wave around all game. Get your T.O. Tissues here!

1) How Guilt Affects Jerry Jones
Jerry Jones committed the first and foremost Cardinal Sin against the Sports Gods. All that good karma that the 'Boys received while the Romo-Simpson relationship was being scrutinized by everyone who can't mind their own business and find it necessary to pry into others' affairs was thrown out the window in one fell swoop by Jones, who gave out conference championship tickets to players and others before and during Sunday's game. Why one of his players didn't punch him in the face is beyond me. It is one thing to be confident. It is another to blatantly disrespect the Sports Gods. Well Jerry, I guess you can take the rest of those tickets and use them to wipe your @$$.